Habits are so hard to change, so difficult to get rid of. They are almost like addiction and when you are asked or forced not to stick to your habit you experience some of the most uncomfortable moments. It is like taking you out of your comfort zone and when you are out of your comfort zone you don't know what to do. It is like being on a new planet, in a new world like Pandora from Aavatar and not knowing how things work here.
My new landlord is getting the house repainted and getting all the wires, lights, etc replaced with new ones. It was a Saturday and I headed out and when I was leaving the electrician told me that there will be no cable, internet when I come home just for tonight and I told him I will manage. I had a good evening and got home after dinner at about 10.30 and I had no idea what to do. I am so used to getting home, turning on my tv and getting online that it has become a habit. I even have a ritual. I walk in, turn on the light, turn the fan on, turn the computer on, put my phone, wallet, wrist watch, etc in the drawer when the computer is booting, check my email inbox and my social network profiles, change into something comfortable after putting my clothes for wash and getting something cold to drink from the refrigerator.
This day, I got home and had no idea what to do. I felt so uncomfortable, so out of place, so 'this is not where I live', so weird. For the first time I opened the drawer where I keep my books and pulled out a book. I went to the nearby park, called a few friends with whom I had not spoken in ages and then started reading. Something interesting happened then.
I noticed that all the construction workers gathered at that time and hang out at the park. There was one guy walking with a guitar. He was walking with a guitar in his hands playing the guitar as he was making his way to where his friends were sitting. He was one of the popular friends because of his guitar skills I am guessing. He was walking with a very different confidence playing his guitar and humming a song and he looked like was is in the moment completely out of this world. I looked up as the guitar sound got louder and as I looked up the guy stopped playing and had a very apologetic look on his face. As he got closer he said "Sorry to disturb your reading". I felt bad that I disturbed him and got him out of his almost perfect dreamy world back into this world where he is one of the many construction workers and did not have a life where he is the lead man, the center of attention, the musician that he was in his almost trance like state. I said "No problem" and smiled to show him that that minor distraction was no big deal and he had no reason to be sorry.
He made way to where his friends were gathered. There was an instant joy on everyone's face when they saw him, they exchanged hand shakes and high fives and he started playing and singing. He went back to his dreamy world where he was the king and everything and everyone else was not more important than him and his singing and I got back to my reading.